The Inevitable Occurs And Funny Things Happen In Hogansville

No, it wasn't a flat tire, speeding ticket or any of the usual stuff; just garden variety road fatigue. About sixty or so miles into the push for Foley, Alabama by nightfall, I just couldn't drive anymore. The drivers are crrrrazy around here, the highway is one of the worst I've driven on (tons of debris, potholes, etc.) and after nearly being driven off the road by a big rig for the fourth time I said to myself "this is not going to happen. Find a hotel, crash for the rest of the day/night, watch the Oscars, get a good nights' sleep and finish up tomorrow."

So I stopped in Hogansville because there was a hotel with free wi-fi right off the exit, checked in, asked where to go to eat and was directed across the street. Settled into the room and walked across the street. It was a total freaky "Los Olivos moment" (the weird little ghost town north of Santa Barbara where you just know something really bad happened at some point, like a massacre or something, because there is NOTHING THERE anymore except for an awesome restaurant that people doing the wine country thing like to go to.  All of the restaurants were not only not open but shuttered/boarded up and clearly abandoned. There were a couple Evil Truckers at the gas station but other than that, not a soul in sight. I was just starting to think "good job, Lauri, you've wandered into some creepy Children of The Corn place and you won't be leaving Georgia alive" when I walked around the corner to the blessed sight of a restaurant that was actually open and had other people in it.

So I walk in and ask to be seated on the side of the restaurant that has no other people in it because I do not feel like talking to other people. No problem. When I realize how truly exhausted I am I place my order and ask for it to go and pay right away so I can get back to my hotel and take a shower and crawl into bed ASAP. While I am waiting for my food, the hostess comes back and seats a couple at the table RIGHT NEXT TO ME when there are about a dozen other tables totally empty on that side.

I notice that the lady of the pair is wearing a Calvary Chapel tee-shirt which amuses me greatly because I'm like "they're everywhere! I can't escape!" and so I very discreetly take my phone out and take a picture. At that moment the waitress comes over to deliver their water and iced tea, swings by my table first to pick up the signed check, and proceeds to drop the tray with the drinks directly into my purse.

Two totally fortunate things: I had just taken the phone out so it didn't get wet, and the nice new leather wallet that Bo just gave me for Valentine's was still on the table and therefore escaped damage. The waitress starts freaking out and crying and apologizing and explaining that she's had a terrible week because her mom just moved in with her blah blah blah and I said something really stupid to the effect of "Dude, it's cool, stuff happens, no worries..."

And this gave them their opening. The lady says "What part of California are you from?" And I said "How'd you know I was from California?" And she said "You have a California accent!" To which I replied with a laugh because, come on, it's common knowledge that Californians don't HAVE an accent.

So I said I was from the Newport Beach/Costa Mesa area and then felt a compulsion to admit that I had only moments before taken her picture because I grew up in the Calvary Chapel culture, family very involved there, aunt that works there etc. So of course they ask my aunt's name which I provide and OF COURSE they know her because, you know, it's totally normal and not at all bizarre to run into people who know your family in the middle of nowhere a couple thousand miles away from home in a place you hadn't even planned on going.

I quickly fled the scene before they could ask me any more questions.

So I appear to be the only guest at this motel except for an... interesting pair that looked at me like I'd arrived from another planet when I was lugging my stuff into the room, but did not return my verbal greeting. Perhaps that is for the best.

I hope the rest of this day and night is super boring because I have had enough excitement for one day.